


Tea With Baba Yaga

by themuppetyone



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, fairy tale, i blame everybody, not quite crack but kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 23:43:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11301279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themuppetyone/pseuds/themuppetyone
Summary: 'Natasha placed her hand on the door of the hut. "Hello old friend." In the nonexistent light of the new moon, she couldn't quite see the giant avian head sprouting from the roof, but she could hear it rawk a happy welcome...'





	Tea With Baba Yaga

 

Natasha placed her hand on the door of the hut. "Hello old friend." In the nonexistent light of the new moon, she couldn't quite see the giant avian head sprouting from the roof, but she could hear it rawk a happy welcome.

Natasha entered quietly out of habit, only to be greeted by a fierce and creaky cry.

"I smell a smell that is Russian! Who is there?" A cadaverous-looking old woman was within, somehow managing to look like she was at death’s door, and large enough to fill up the entire dark and smoky hut at the same time.

Natasha laughed. "Relax Yaga, it's just me."

"Eh? Is it really?" Baba Yaga shook like a wet dog. Both she and the hut transformed into something a lot brighter and more welcoming. The woman of bones was replaced by a sturdy, healthy-looking woman of about 60 years with thick silver hair. She strode quickly towards the entrance to the hut and pulled Natasha into a long hug. "Yaga! It has been too long! Are you finally done adventuring?"

"Not quite," answered Natasha, "but I thought it time to visit. I found a lovely jam for your tea."

"Wonderful." Baba Yaga stretched out her hands toward the center of hut. She flicked her fingers and a table of dark polished wood appeared, complete with samovar, tray and two small cups.

"That is your favorite tea set, I am flattered. Are you no longer afraid I will drop one of the cups?"

Baba eyed Natasha carefully. "Sister, it looks like if you dropped a cup now, it could only be on purpose. And you are not looking so spiteful today. Hush now, it has been far too long since you were home. Sit. Get out the jam. I will get everything else."

Natasha sat as her eldest sister slowly bustled about, creating old familiar smells with the samovar. Baba Yaga even found some small powdered tea cakes in the cabinet and set them out on a matching plate.

"Is the plate new?"

"Yes. Pass me the jam. What is it?"

"Spiced plum. It reminded me of your favorite tea."

Baba stirred a spoonful of jam into each of their tea cups. They ate and sipped in silence for a few minutes.

Natasha sighed. "Your tea cakes were always the best. Not that our sister would ever admit it. Where is she anyway?"

"Yaga? On a small trip of her own, she should be back in a few days." Baba saw Natasha freeze for a half second and her voice sharpened. "No. Relax. She always preferred gentler adventures to you. She is visiting with her friend, a wombat witch in North Carolina, swapping tomato seeds and digging in dirt. When she returns it will be nothing but seed and plant and dirt talk for days. Like she didn't get enough of that while away. Feh."

Natasha settled again as ordered and sipped her tea. "I was right," she murmured. "It went perfectly."

"Of course you were. Your taste has never been in question. Your judgement..." She shook her head and tsked a few times.

Several more minutes of contented sipping went by before Baba spoke up again. "I looked for you, you know."

"Of course."

"I knew you weren't dead. Casting the bones told me that much. But they couldn't find you." Baba stared into her cup of tea and continued, a little softly. "Not the bones, nor fire gazing either." Baba paused stopped there. Perhaps the youngest Yaga didn't need to know about the time she tried contracting with a minor demon. That had been desperation and her sister didn't deserve the story to hold over her head.

Natasha looked down. "I'm sorry. That's my fault."

Baba's eyes squinted and her lips tightened. "What did you do?"

Natasha snorted. "That's exactly how I sound when talking to Clint."

"Do not change the subject. You can tell me about your husband later."

Natasha laughed. "Clint is definitely not my husband." Baba glared and Natasha conceded with a nod and a shrug. She looked resolutely at her tea and spoke softly. "It didn't seem like much of an adventure if I knew my strength and power. So I cast a spell. I became a young girl with the knowledge that comes with such station. Your bones and fire looking for the youngest Yaga would not have noticed a girl with no witchery."

Baba gripped her tea cup tighter and sighed deeply. "I no longer need wonder how stupid you are."

Natasha nodded. "It's not quite that bad. I put limitations on the spell. It _should_ have let go in a few years, or when I was in dire trouble."

Baba Yaga nodded. "Reasonable. Reasonable by your standards alone, but perhaps more intelligent than your sister's pet rabbit."

"I have noticed that she's always my sister when she brings home an animal."

"Feh. Do not change the subject. What went wrong? You were a good, strong witch, if perhaps not as good as I. You did not mean to be gone a hundred years."

"You are right, I did not." She took another sip of tea. "I got caught up in something... they recruited young girls and trained them to be fearsome fighters. It sounded like the perfect adventure." She paused. "It also employed mind bending techniques to ensure loyalty."

"And that combined badly with your own magics, yes, I see." Baba looked angry rather than crotchety for the first time. She took another tea cake, put in on a different plate, an iron one, and glared at it until it caught fire. Her shoulders relaxed a bit and she nodded in satisfaction at it. "Tell me. This organization has at least been burnt to the ground? Has the ground been sown with salt?"

"As far as I've been able to insure, yes." Natasha cocked her head and looked at the flame. "Waste of a good tea cake."

"I did not wish to set the table on fire. I like this table. Tea cakes are more easily replaced."

"Practical." They ate and sipped a few more minutes in silence. "So you still play at the Great and Terrible Baba Yaga whenever anyone comes to the door? Doesn't it get tiresome?"

Baba Yaga rolled her eyes. "I am the great and terrible Baba Yaga and don't you forget it. It is useful anyway. It keeps away the constant stream of idiots asking for love spells." She raised her voice to a higher pitch and fluttered her eyelashes, "oh Baba, there's this boy. Oh Baba, I have spots on my face and no girl will look at me. Baba, help, my neighbor has cursed my cow." She threw her hands into the air. "Feh, a farmer too lazy to take care of his cow properly deserves his fate and his cow's fate too." She smiled slightly. "Heh. I should try that next time. Some lazy toad of a man who neglects his cow would benefit from experiencing first hand a case of infected udders."

Natasha smirked. "Ah, Yaga justice." Another sip. "They still tell stories about you. It's even reached America. The terrifying Baba Yaga and her chicken hut."

Baba threw a tea cake at the wall. "Pah! Russian peasants who cannot tell the difference between a chicken and the last elephant bird! This is one more reason they do not deserve my help. You've seen my girl run. Tell me, has any chicken anywhere even come close?"

Nat smiled into her tea. "In fairness, most people who have visited haven't seen flightless birds that weren't chickens."

Baba made a rude noise. "I'll chicken you. Disappear for a century and come back talking scandal about my house. Feh. I would take away your cookies if you hadn't brought me such jam."

"It is a good jam. I'll bring more next month?"

"You do that."

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I blame so many people. I made ONE LITTLE COMMENT ON TWITTER and suddenly six people were all "YOU HAVE TO WRITE THAT." And then I found out that in some stories, Baba Yaga isn't one witch, but three witch sisters of the same name? Well. It had to be done.
> 
> Extra thanks to SmutLover for the beta. All mistakes left are my own.
> 
> Bonus points if you can identify the real person cameo. (I AM SO SORRY REAL PERSON, I DIDNT PLAN IT. I just couldn't resist.)
> 
> Edit: I think Baba Yaga's personality it more Hungarian than Russian, sorry. But i know more old Hungarian women and that kind of acerbic nature felt appropriate.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Yaga](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11305080) by [SmutLover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmutLover/pseuds/SmutLover)
  * [The Yaga Revelation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11295738) by [robyngoodfellow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/robyngoodfellow/pseuds/robyngoodfellow)




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